“They think you’re human, you know.” Tony wasn’t looking at Romanoff; he had his head buried in his new favorite suit and one arm in what would be, if the suit were a person, the sort of compromising position that the tabloids would love to catch him in.

He didn’t have to be looking at her, of course; JARVIS was looking at her and relaying the image. Tony didn’t know if Romanoff knew that, but she did raise one elegant eyebrow at Tony’s ass. “Think?”

“You and Clint both. Rogers, the big guy, they know what they are. Thor — Thor is his own jumbo-sized issue, but I think you and I both know what he is. But you and Clint, the rest of the team thinks you’re human.”

“And you think you know differently.” She’d shifted her posture. Tony might not have noticed, but JARVIS did. She had three — no, four — weapons on her body, not counting the exquisite weapon that was her body.

Of course, she was standing in Tony’s workroom, which meant she was surrounded by his weapon. It could go either way.

Tony didn’t extricate himself from the suit. “Look. I could be wrong, in which case you can say I’m crazy, which will only be the third or fourth time today.”

“Fifth.” Her posture hadn’t relaxed.

“Fifth, fine.” He found the bolt he was trying to replace, and, for a moment, was silent, fiddling deep in his spare suit’s nether region. “Or I’m right — and I’m never wrong — in which case the real question is, do you prefer the Gods or the Law?”

Silence reigned. Romanoff, Jarvis reported, was moving, but they were micro-movements. She was considering her answer.

That wasn’t a good sign. Toss out the option that she was human — she wasn’t. Toss out the option that she was unaligned, not part of either sect of Ellehemaei — fae, fairies, elves — living on the planet. That meant she was planning on killing him, deciding if he was full of bullshit, or she was some entirely different sort of madness, which could pose some problems.

She rolled back on her heels. “You’re not going to ask if I prefer to fuck animals or break my word?” She was using the eyebrow again. Either it was reflexive, or she knew he was watching.

“Well.” She definitely knew what he was talking about. Monkey-fuckers and Oathbreakers, that’s what the two groups called each other.

Tony pulled himself out of the suit and wiped his hands down. He took his time at it, getting the grease out from his cuticles. Then, and only then, he graced Agent Romanoff with his most charming smile. “There’s no need to be rude.”

“Unless there is.” She was smiling. Tony was beginning to get worried. “So, tell me, Mr. Stark, do you prefer to fuck animals or to break your word?”

Crossover of Avengers and Fae Apoc and thus turning both of them into a bit of an AU, including there being super-science in fae apoc now.

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