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âI have to ask again, are you an idiot?â
âYou donât have to be an asshole. I know how Keeping works, you giant shit, so you can back off and just assume Iâm not asking or talking about the bond. Obviously youâre protective of her. Obviously you have to obey her. That has nothing to do with the way youâre looking at her right now.â Ezer rolled his eyes and flapped that away with a wave of his hand. âAnyway. Thereâs a job. Itâs a recon, and if you, mister, can listen and follow a plan, then we could use you. If you canât, then youâre staying back here.â
âYou canât give me orders,â Erramun snarled.
âNo, but I can suggest things to Senga, and she usually listens, since planning these things is my job.â
âOkay, thatâs enough.â Senga inserted herself between them. âTell me about the job, Ezer.â
âItâs a reconnaissance job. Basic go in, find the information, get out. Allayne would be running lead on it, but I need someone who can be sneaky to get into their server room. And – if thereâs something going on and we really are being set up, which seems more and more likely, I want you there,â he gestured at Erramun, âto back her up, because Allayne will have her hands full and Chitter is going to be in the van. And I donât want her being shot full of holes again.â He lifted his chin and stared at Erramun. âI imagine you want – donât want – the same thing.â
âYou imagine right.â Erramun nodded his head slowly. âIf saâMonmartin will allow?â
âSaâMonmartin will allow or she wonât be going on this mission,â Ezer snapped. âIâll find another way in if I have to.â
âEzer!â Senga glared at him, but he seemed completely unfazed.  âYou canât just lock me out of a mission.â
âI can and will. If I donât think youâre safe to go on the mission – thatâs in our agreement, remember? So this time, you take the mountain there with you, or you stay home.â
Senga huffed. It wasnât that he wasnât right. It was just that she thought it was a stupid use of being right.
âMistress?â Erramunâs voice had taken on a strange tone. She looked up at him: he was frowning down at her.
âThis mission,â she muttered. âBut not missions where the goal is to talk to people. Come on, Ezer, I donât need a babysitter. I can handle myself.â
âI know you can. But right now, youâre in a bit of a dangerous spot, and I donât want to risk everyone just because youâre feeling brave. So take the giant with you. Itâs not like your aunt didnât guess that youâd need a bodyguard, after all. Why else would she have given you him?â
âWell, possibly to piss off her daughters.â
âMaybe to piss me off,â Erramun added.
âBecause Iâm the white sheep and she wanted to put him on a leash but not choke him with it, which limits the people in her circle of acquaintances to – well, me,â Senga offered. Erramun grimaced.
âBecause she wanted to put a leash on this one and knew that I would be more likely to accept a collar than this difficult woman here,â he countered.
âMaybe because thereâs a sleeper command buried somewhere in this one that will jump out and screw with me – or make him kill me – when nobody expects it,â Senga added back.
âMaybe because it confuses far too many other people at that funeral,â he added, though his expression was getting more and more sour, âand if they think that Iâm really Mirabellaâs agent, maybe theyâll think sheâs actually still alive. People have called me her dog before.â He didnât look like he liked that. She didnât exactly blame him for that.
âMaybe,â Senga offered, stretching to the bounds of credulity and beyond, âit wasnât really her idea, but someone was secretly puppeting her. Maybe it was the lawyer, that obnoxious little prick. Maybe he manipulated her into putting things into the will – like that âIf you bitch you get nothingâ clause⌠nah.â She snorted at herself. âNah, too far.â
âMaybe they drew your name out of a hat,â Erramun offered.
Ezer did not look amused. âIf you two are quite done, Senga. You going to accept the bodyguard or am I going to bench you?â
âFine, fine. Itâs extortion, which shouldnât surprise me, itâs kinda bitchy, which also shouldnât surprise me, and I suppose if someone gives one a really nice custom-build sports car, one ought to take it around the block a few times.â
âSpeaking of.â Erramunâs hand settled on her back in a gesture that from anyone else might have read as possessive. âIf the mission isnât right now-â
âTomorrow night at soonest.â Ezer agreed.
â-would Mistress like to take me back to her room and kick the tires?â
Senga looked at him. He looked not only sincere but interested. Then again, he might be able to look like anything he wanted. âYes,â she agreed. âEzer, briefing over lunch tomorrow? Try not to get in any fights about rooms, arguments with the staff, or fall in any traps until then, okay?â
âShould I have them send some food up to your room?â
âIf they havenât already figured that out-â Erramun looked unimpressed at the very idea â-then they are not nearly as good as Iâd heard they were. Mistress?â
Senga found herself smiling, even though she sensed there were deep traps beneath every one of Erramunâs words and especially mistress. âYes. Letâs go upstairs.â
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Want more?
“Why else would she have given you him?” Ezer just had to ask… I suspect they could have gone on for hours without exhausting the pool of possible, though not necessarily always plausible, answers to that question. đ
That was SO MUCH fun to write, too đ
I giggled a lot.