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Ctirad had been sure heâd be okay with shopping.
He was doing it for Timaios, after all, and he actually liked his current  owner â so far.  He had to keep repeating so far to himself.  If he forgot it could all go bad, it would hurt so much more when it did.
He was doing it for âthe boss,â the way Shel kept saying. Â But still, he walked into the first place and he wanted to turn around and flee.
âI.â  he coughed.  âThisâŚâ He picked up a handkerchief.  âIt costs more than my first year of college.â
âYou went to college?â
âROTC. Â Yeah.â Â One of those things he didnât think about much. Â âBut seriously. Â This is-â
âThink about it this way. Â It pleases the boss to have you dress like this. Â And youâre gonna look like a million dollars when weâre done.â
âIâm going to be wearing a million dollars! Â Maybe twice that.â Â He was whispering. Â Still, they drew the attention of the sales maven.
âCan I help you gentle- ah, Mr. Brown. Â Does Mr. Kaprinsky need some more shirts?â
âNot at the moment, no, Tammy.  No, this is Ctirad.  Heâs a new⌠employee of Mr. Kaprinsky, and we need to outfit him properly.â
He managed to make significant pause âemployeeâ sound less like whore and more like we donât talk about the real relationship, but itâs important. Â Ctirad took his cue from that and shifted into a rest position, raising his eyebrows at âTammyâ as she looked him up and down.
âWell, thereâs plenty to work with.  He has a perfect body.  Come on then, Ctirad,â like Shel, she managed to pronounce the name correctly on the first try, âletâs get you measured and fitted out.  I have some ideas already. Plenty of room to move, I assume?  Oh, donât look at me like that.  I can see it from your stance and the way you cased the room.  Itâs important your clothes fit you as much as itâs important that you look the way Mister Kaprinsky likes.  And lucky for you, I can handle body.  Now, weâre tailoring around the⌠choker⌠right?  Lucky for you, the suitcoat with a t-shirt is in currently, and I have some lovely silk t-shirts.  This way, this way.â
He was fussed into a room more than he was led. Â He moved along with it, feeling strangely like he was being sized up for clothing by his second-grade teacher.
And he hadnât thought about her in ages, either, hadnât thought about childhood. Â He shook himself a little bit.
âEasy, easy. Â Iâm not going to do anything too weird. Â See, no weapons.â Â She held up her arms.
Ctirad looked her up and down as she was inviting him to.  âNo weapons,â he agreed.  âYou work with a lot of⌠ex-military?â
âI do.  Not just in this little city, oh, no.  Here and there and everywhere, but I keep my office here for Mr. Kaprinsky.  He goes through those shirtsâŚâ She winked cheerfully at him.
âYou should have a weapon, then.â What?  He didnât tell people should, that wasnât his job.  That was very distinctly not his job.  The opposite of job.  It had been explained⌠oh.  âShel?â he asked weakly.
âGo ahead and have bodyguard opinions. Â Tammy isnât going to mind and neither is the boss.â
So Shel, although out of line of sight, was definitely staying in earshot. Â Good to know. Â Ctirad wondered if that was for his comfort or for Tammyâs.
âIâm not exactly helpless, itâs just that everything I have is defensive.â Â She winked at him. Â âAnd yes, son, you can have all the bodyguard opinions you want. Â It makes me feel safer, let me tell you. Â Now letâs see, Iâm going to have to measure all of you. Â Any places you want to hold the tape instead of me holding it?â
That was, Ctirad was pretty certain, a little unusual.  On the other hand, heâd never been fitted for a suit that cost this much money before  âNo, but I wouldnât mind, uh, a warning?â
âI can definitely give you a warning. Â All right, here we go, here we go.â Â True to her word, she warned him before each measurement, doing it as a steady prattle of âand now Iâm going to -â interspersed with gossip about a niece of hers that, for all Ctirad knew, might be entirely fictional.
It didnât matter.  She was talking to him – like a person, or at the very least like a customer, which might be a subset of person but still meant she thought he needed to be catered to. Ctirad smiled at the appropriate points, put in a nice chuckle a time or two, and answered her are-you-paying-attention questions with just enough of his mind to not be rude.  The rest of him was casing the place and the woman.
She might be fae; he couldnât tell. Â Knowing those things might be something else his education had been lacking. Â She moved with a great deal of extraneous gestures that covered over very nicely how smooth and efficient her core body movement was. Â She smiled a lot but rarely showed her teeth, and she touched him in such a way that she would know immediately if his shoulders tensed.
He thought about trying it, but she was being so nice, he didnât want to ruin the moment. Â Instead he waited patiently until she patted him on the shoulder.
âAnd there you go. Â Iâll get you some off-the-rack things for today; I imagine you have some more shopping to do, mmm? Â Canât wander around like that all the time. Â And then Iâll have the rest to you in a week. Â Two weeks for the tux, three for white tie.â Â That last bit was to Shel, who, it seemed, was assumed to be Ctiradâs handler. Â âHeâll need to come in for one more fitting.â
Shel saluted. Â âAs you say, maâam. Â Come on, Ctirad, get off your feet for a few. Â Thereâs coffee and tea, and even Tammy will take at least two or three minutes to get you some clothes.â
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