Tag Archive | innercircle

Jumping Rings: A Story of the Circled Plain Chapter One (a new webserial!)

Chapter One: Taslin

Kneel

“Kneel, Taslin Altreka.”

It was not the first thing the man had said to Taslin, but it was the first important thing.

He had begun many minutes before, as law and his conscience dictated, with a series of disclaimers and explanations. “You understand that, once you take a knee, you cannot take it back? You will be committing to ten years, or to death, or until a resident of the First Circle calls you to service.”

She had nodded, then. “I understand.” Other cities had fewer circles and thus less years of service. But Taslin had been born in New Indapala, and her family lived here.

“You understand that one out of five who take this route die in service?”

She had nodded again. “I understand.”

“You understand that two out of three who do survive are maimed or crippled?”

She had seen the funeral processions to the unfinished walls. She had seen the veterans. She had seen the fights. “I understand.”

“There are easier routes up the Ladder.”

He had sounded worried. Taslin had, then, finally looked him in the eye. “I have a little sister and a little brother.”

“Aah. Then we continue.” And they had. “Kneel, Taslin Altreka.”

She took a knee and bowed her head. The man, then, snipped the cord that had been around her neck since childhood. He took her ID chit and its severed cord, every moment a ceremony. Taslin resisted the urge to touch the empty place on the back of her neck.

The bare feeling had lasted only a moment. Those who knelt as she was did not wear their ID on a cord, but everyone wore an ID.

The collar was the thinnest metal she had ever felt, made of flat, smooth links. It would move with her, but, at the same time, she would never forget the pressure on her throat and neck.

“Rise, Taslin Gladiator.”

The name felt right, settling onto her. Standing as a Gladiator felt right and proper. Taslin rolled her shoulders and smiled, feeling it curl her lips.

The man, who had never given her his name, bowed. “Fight well, Gladiator.”

She thumped her fist against her chest in salute. “As you command.”

“This is the limit of my command. Your handler comes, and it will be from her that you take your orders from this point forward.” The man paused. He was older than Taslin, his face lined but his back straight. “I would advise you, Gladiator.”

Every word that flowed from him had the echo of a ritual. Taslin bowed her head and tried to match his tone. “I would hear your advice, sir.”

“You have been told to find a patron. Everyone who seeks to shortcut the Ladder is told the same thing, the same sage advice from those who have not followed the same path.”

Taslin risked a glance at his face. Yes, he looked as sardonic as he sounded. “Sir.”

“I will say this: be very mindful of the patron you choose. The benefits can be high, yes, but no few who have died have done so because they chose a patron unwisely.”

“Mindful?” She sounded like a parrot. She had not been accepted to this position by sounding eloquent or brilliant, though.

“Mindful.” The man nodded. “It is good to have a patron, of course. They provide you with better armor, better weapons. They offer advertising, which raises ticket sales, which gets both them and you more money. The more money you raise, the better your eventual place on the Ladder, should you survive.”

Taslin nodded. He was right; this was the sort of thing everyone told her. Everyone and no-one; it was the sort of thing that was just known, in that way that the mob knew things.

“The trick.” The man put one fist in an open palm, and for a moment, Taslin could see the fighter he must have been. “That’s what you never think of when you’re there. The trick is to find a patron who will remember that you are your own chief asset. One that will not overwork you outside the ring.” He said it without a leer, although Taslin was fairly certain of the “work” he meant. “One that will not negotiate matches for you with clearly superior foes – or with clearly inferior ones. Both can harm you, in the long or the short run.”

He met her eyes. “In short, Taslin Gladiator, find a patron who will remember to care for you, as you are caring for them in your service. Then, and only then, will you find yourself, at the end of your days, choosing the rung of the Ladder that you wish, and not simply the one that you can manage.”

She wanted to ask the man, so clearly scarred, so clearly marked by his own time in the ring, which route had been his, when his time in a collar had been through. But she could see the steel in his arms, even now, and the matching armor in his gaze. That would not be a question he welcomed, she thought.

So she bowed, instead. She knew how to bow, and it rarely invited steel to do so. “Thank you for your advice, sir.”

“If the patron is pretty enough, speaks nicely enough, shakes enough gold around you, you will forget it, of course. We all do. But then I will know that I have told you – and you will know where you must go, if you wish to best help your brother and your sister in Altreka.”

He could not have held her attention more if he’d had a sword to her throat. Taslin nodded, very very carefully. “Yes, sir.” Yes. To climb the Ladder better was one thing. To be able to help Hel and Thet, that was another thing entirely.

“Here comes your handler. Remember, Taslin Gladiator. Your life is no longer your own; that belongs to the Ring, to your handlers, to the Match-Masters, and to your Patrons.” The old man bowed, one scarred fist over the other. “But remember.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Remember that your ambition, your drive, and your skill – everything that led you to bend your knee – that is always yours, and nobody has any right to that.”

She bowed deeply in response. Pick a Patron wisely. Hold on to your ambition and drive. It was easy for him to say those things, easy for him to list them off as if they were checkboxes to fill on a test, or moves to make in a training routine. How she would go about doing them, that would be the difficult part.

“And now it begins.”

The door swung open, and another man stepped into the room. While the first one had once clearly been a fighter, this man was slender, slim, his fingers long and his hair oiled. “You are the new Gladiator?”

Taslin had barely risen from her last bow; it was easy to drop back into another. “Sir.”

“Call me Reshnel. At least when we’re alone.”

She glanced at the old man, thinking, alone? but he had vanished. “Yes, sir. Reshnel.”

“Come. Gan is running a training session in the sandlot, and I don’t want you to miss out on it. You’re going to need all the training you can get, if you’re to survive in the ring.” His eyes took in her body, naked except the collar. “You will need quite a bit of conditioning, too. Come.”

There was nothing to do but obey, sting as the critique did.

She had given her vows, and left behind everything of Taslin Altreka (everything except her drive, she supposed, her skills, and her ambition), in a small room overlooking the Third Circle Market Street and backing on the Gladiator’s complex. She’d walked in from Market Street as a free citizen; now she walked out the back door a Gladiator.

She held her head high as she followed Reshnel, pulled her shoulders back, and tried to be proud of the body he’d just critiqued. it was a good body. She had been training it – and conditioning it – since she was old enough to hold a practice sword. It might not yet be Ring Champion material, but that only came with time, she thought, and honest opponents.

“Heads up, new meat!” She caught the flying missile before she’d placed the voice, realized it was being thrown at her, or even realized they’d stepped into what had to be the sandlot: a miniaturized gladiatorial pit, with the sand floor and mats on the stone walls. Seven fighters stood around, all in soft leather armor and the thin tunics that were common-issue all around New Indapala. “Suit up!” That from the tallest, broadest, and, Taslin noticed, least-scarred of the fighters. “You go first.”

“Ma’… Ix.” The missile that had been thrown at her turned out to be tunic and armor, much as everyone else was wearing. Taslin threw it on as quickly as was wise and perhaps more quickly than that. The buckles felt strange under her fingers, and one of the straps would not cooperate. She hissed, and tried again. They were all staring at her.

“Here.” Ready hands took the strap from her and fixed it. “Don’t let them get to you. If you’re stressed, you doubt yourself. If you doubt yourself, you doubt your sword. If you doubt your sword, you falter in battle.”

“If I falter in battle, someone else wins the match.” Taslin had to twist to see the speaker; the buckles on the armour were placed far back on her sides, almost behind her. “This is newbie armor, isn’t it?”

“You learn fast.” The speaker was not one of the those armored; she, like Reshnel, wore no armor and carried no weapons. “There. Now go show them what you can do.”

“Yes’ix.” She bowed to the speaker and was amused to note that he blushed. “Thank you.”

“Are you ready already, new meat? Out with it already, come over so you can fail.”

“I hear and obey.” She bowed again, to the tall woman. “What shall I do?”

Chapter Two: Valran (LJ) Kneel

Art of Taslin by Djinni

This is the first chapter of a new serial, which will post every other week on, it appears, Tuesdays.

I have a domain name, but nothing else prepped for posting it properly on a web page.

What I need:
* donation button art(s)
* a title bar
* WordPress theme picked (and installed)
* donation incentives decided on!

I’m willing to pay in either (limited) cash or in word exchange/early chapters for help with these, to get this out the door and properly begun.

I also need:
* feedback and enthusiasm

I work better when I know people are interested in what I’m working on!

This entry was originally posted at http://aldersprig.dreamwidth.org/731154.html. You can comment here or there.

Jumping Rings: A Story of the Circled Plain – Background Character Word-Doodles (@korionfray)

So, the writer in my attic, K Orion Fray, has a writing-inspiration e-mail that Ri sends out, which includes a writing prompt.

This week’s prompt:

I have a personal obsession with sideline characters, and making sure that everyone has a story and a background, no matter how little of it you see. So: Choose (or make up) a character that is the least developed right now, or would not be a major part in the plot of their story. Fashion a series of ten-minute exploratory exercises for them both in and out of the story frame. For example, write a pivotal childhood memory for the character that could have ramifications within the context of the story currently being written/drafted.

I sort of took it sideways.

My three questions:

1. How did they get their name?
2. Why do they dress in the manner they do?
3. If you asked them, would there be a pivotal moment in their life that brought them to this particular interaction with the MC?

And the character:

Teswarnen Eshmarn, the Second Circle Deputy Oligarch of New Indapala

How did they get their name?
In New Indapala and the Circled Plain, names begin with an initial syllable, the rest you earn.

The teenager Teswar, born in the outer circle of New Indapala, earned the neuter-gender -nen when she chose to become ri*; she had started a business out of her mother’s house, hiring other children and teens to do manual labor and contracting them to adults. That earned her her admittance to the next-inner circle, her first proper job, and the -nen.

In ri’s twenties, Teswarnen continued contracting and sometimes selling ri’s peers, climbing ever higher up the Ladder and becoming ever richer as ri went. The Esh came when ri finally made it to the Second Circle; the marn when ri was recognized as Deputy Oligarch for ri’s Circle.

Why do they dress in the manner they do>
(And what manner is that?)
Teswarnen dresses lavishly but not wildly; there is a conservative cut to almost every piece of expensive clothing ri wears: high-necked tunics, long flowing pants, colors that are rich but not bright or screaming.

Teswarnen grew up in one of the poorest areas of New Indapala, and worked ri’s way up through the Circles to affluence; however, the inner circles of the Circled Plain are often unwelcoming to those who actually came from the outer circles, however much it’s the tenant the entire system is based on. Dressing conservatively helps Teswarnen glide through the upper crust society without sticking out – which is very much what ri wants.

If you asked them, would there be a pivotal moment in their life that brought them to this particular interaction with the MC?

Teswarnen Eshmarn leaned back in ri’s chair and looked out the window over the city. From here, you could see all the way down to the Tenth Circle and the wall-builders working on the new walls. It was a beautiful – from here, with a light coating of mist and distance covering up all the dirt and pain.

A ten-year-old had pushed a five-year-old Tes in the dirt, down there and all those years ago, and Tes had stood up and paid her last cent to a twelve-year-old to repay the bully tenfold. Everything since then – every purchase, every sale, every wall scaled, every time Tes had fallen – everything had been because of that moment.

Tes brushed mud that wasn’t there off immaculate silk and stood, turning an elegant and, above all, clean back on the illusion of the beautiful. There were beauties that were real, inside.

* ri, ri’s, riself – the pronoun used for those who have chosen the neuter gender in the Circled Plain. Ix is the honorific (equivalent to sir or ma’am).

This entry was originally posted at http://aldersprig.dreamwidth.org/681611.html. You can comment here or there.

Nanowrimo is over

First words of Friday:
“A year is enough. They’ll have moved on to someone else in that time. And besides…”

Last Line on the 30th:
“I have been, from time to time.”

(This: He nibbled on her ear tip. was almost my last line, but then I got ambitious and wrote another 100 words)

I wrote 2,341 words on Friday and 1,770 words on Saturday, bringing my Inner Circle total to 25,312 and my total total to 85,967 (It loses about 100 words in nano validation but those are MS Word numbers).

And it’s done. Well, Nano is done.

What to Do in December and Possibly January will come later today.

This entry was originally posted at http://aldersprig.dreamwidth.org/611108.html. You can comment here or there.

First and Last Words: In which I am stretching these chapter titles

(Chapter titles are imperative verbs: Kneel, Duck, Thrust, Come, Hold, Choose, Agree. Each title covers two chapters, one from each POV (there are two protagonists with parallel but different stories), and is the first word of that chapter.)
(It’s either really dumb or really clever or both)

First Lines: Laces were laced, buttons were buttoned. The tunic was deceptive in its simplicity; if it weren’t embroidered in monk’s-tears, she could wear it under armor in the ring.

Last Lines: “For a year.”

“A year is enough. They’ll

(I was having trouble getting to sleep, okay? 😉

21201 words on Inner Circle, bringing it to 81,856 total words.

At this rate, I should be able to get to 25,000 by the end of tomorrow. (84K total)

This entry was originally posted at http://aldersprig.dreamwidth.org/610663.html. You can comment here or there.

First & Last Words: In which I am glad for buffer

First Line: Valran coughed and took a wild gamble. “Whaddefuc, ma’am?”

Last Line: …but tonight was an entirely different sort of combat. She slipped the fifteen omeh into the vest and let Vinroth dress her.

(in which I figure out their underwear and loosely guess at their currency)

I wrote a whopping 1350 words yesterday, bringing my Inner Circle total to 18357 and my total total to 79012.

I’m still on track, however; at the rate I’ve been going (an average of 2294.6 words/day on IC; an average of 2912.5 words/day all told), I’ll still get to 25K on Inner Circle by the end of the month!

This entry was originally posted at http://aldersprig.dreamwidth.org/610312.html. You can comment here or there.

First and Last Words: Yesterday

First Line of Yesterday was a whole paragraph: His hands worked quickly enough that Taslin had only reached for a washrag before Vinroth had already sponged her off, getting the soap off her body and scrubbing carefully at a few raw places where she’d gotten sand embedded in cuts.

(Vinroth needs a better name, I don’t like that one).

Last line of the night: “I think I’m just going to tell you to say ‘what the fuck?’ because it will sound less absurd than continuing to say ‘ma’am’ when what you clearly mean is the other.”

I wrote 2035 words yesterday, bringing the IC total to 17,007 and the total total to 77,662.

Wow.

I also spelled granddaughter “granddather.” Twice.
And I accidentally played with a trope, which was fun.

This entry was originally posted at http://aldersprig.dreamwidth.org/609496.html. You can comment here or there.

First and Last Lines!

First line of yesterday: Valran envied ri; he certainly wasn’t enjoying anything at all right now

Last Line of yesterday: Before she could do anything except exactly that, he had pulled the cord, loosing a flood of cold water onto them both.

(Then there was Day of the Doctor, and then the DOCTOR showed up… and that was all the writing.)

2061 words on Inner Circle yesterday, bringing the total to 14,972; that brings All The Nano Words up to 75,627.

~

Setting notes:
They appear to wear Grecian-style clothing. Relatively warm climate? But not overly warm. Where do they get fabric/fiber?
Must find places where rock is commonly quarried in the U.S. for reasons.

Two books in a row without females-as-weaker/gender-insults is very interesting (no calling someone a bitch, f’rinstance)

If I have a gendered-neutral honorific, maybe I should make gendered-honorifics as well? Rather than using Sir and ma’am.

I should list out specifically feminine, masculine, and neuterine suffixes.

This entry was originally posted at http://aldersprig.dreamwidth.org/608345.html. You can comment here or there.

Friday-Saturday-Sunday First and Last Words/Wordcount

First line of Friday: “Mmm, and that is a story for another day. A day, perhaps, in which I am in your shower, washing your back.”

Last line of last night: Having given in, Smooth and Neutral – Debbesthandon – seemed to be enjoying riself.

I wrote:
3038 words on Friday
3185 words on Saturday
2093 on Sunday
that brings my Inner Circle average/day to 2582.2
my Inner Circle total to 12,911
(low goal for Sunday: 8686, high goal 11,114)
and my total words written in Nano to 73,566

This entry was originally posted at http://aldersprig.dreamwidth.org/607218.html. You can comment here or there.

First And Last Words (need an Icon for Inner Circle!)

First Words of Yesterday: “You don’t look like the sort to take the collar. At least not this collar.”

last Words of Yesterday: “What lands you a position playing valet to Gladiators, anyway?” She’d made her jokes, of course; everyone did. Standing around all those naked and nearly-naked people, with sweaty, well-toned bodies.

2206 words yesterday, bringing my total on Inner Circle to 4,595 and my total all told to 65,251

IC’s average words/day is 2,295.5; the total/day over the whole month is 3089.38

I’m slowin’ down! (and that’s okay)

This entry was originally posted at http://aldersprig.dreamwidth.org/606082.html. You can comment here or there.